By Jacquelyn Di Michelo
New Yorkers don’t know how to conduct small talk? They may know how to debate liberal social issues, but when it comes to the art of chit-chat, New Yorkers run out of things to say.
You’ve been there. You know the unsettling feeling as you realize you already discussed the weather and you haven’t even entered the elevator yet. Don’t worry. Here are some talking points to help you navigate the art of small talk, according to people who have the gift of gab.
Let Go of the Power Struggle
A lot of people approach a conversation with the intentions of a competition. But a conversation is not a competition. Mistake one is having the conversation turn on you like a vocal resume. Keep the conversation on them. Ask questions and leave the competition at the door. In this race the winner isn’t the most accomplished. Loosen your body up a stiff overly confident posture comes off over powering.
Seduce with a Smile
Keeping a positive image portrays a positive person. If you keep a smile and laugh it is contagious and makes people feel warm. It also gives the vibe that you are interested and excited about what they are saying. Anyone can warm up to someone who is interested in them. People like to feel fascinating.
Give away Compliments
Who can dislike a compliment? Without much being said complimenting someone is the key into having them like you. Don’t be fake. Make a genuine compliment. I love you hair color, your shoes are really cute, and take it one step further into your pursuit ask, where did you get them? This can open up conversation for common ground. You want to allow room for them to give you descriptions. The other end of the compliment let them know your weakness. Example you run into a high school acquaintance. “You were always so good at writing I remember your articles in the school news paper.” Now follow it with a weakness of yours. “Thank god they never asked me to write I’d be humiliated. “ Breaking this up with a laugh shows you can laugh at yourself and you’re allowing room for vulnerability. These both are irresistible traits with a likable impression.
Learn to Love Them
Give some feedback about yourself but keep it mostly on them. Its good not to talk about yourself a lot anyways but it’s better to walk away from a conversation making sure you don’t feel stupid for giving to much away about your life. Some people tend to give up negative details about themselves in place of awkward pauses. WRONG don’t do that a breath to think is way better than filling the air with how bad your boss is or how tired you are. Although you want to keep them feeling high and mighty you don’t want to bash yourself. No one likes a negative Nancy whose throwing her own pity party.
Don’t Drag it Out
Even though you may have not wanted to start the stop and chat you also don’t want to drag it to hell and back. You don’t want to be the last one standing. Leave first so if the person is in the middle of something they don’t feel like you’re over staying your welcome. Make sure you tell them how good it was to see them but you really have to get to… make sure you have a few things in stock memory of where you need to rush off to.
Want to learn more? Check out the international best seller, How to Win Friends and Influence People.